i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
