I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
