so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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