my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
