Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
He better not be in your backpack
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
