did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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