I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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