Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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