Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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