i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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