I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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