I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
