see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
