I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
