it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
