what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
