Who did Billy Mays play for?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
