well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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