we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
did you just send me my own nude
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
