Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
