Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
