put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
never play flip cup with pint glasses
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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