yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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