not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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