Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
