My friends, they love my intelligence
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
