i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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