very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
