fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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