Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
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She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
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I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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