Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
