what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
