Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
