just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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