I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize