Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
