Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
