Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
