Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
