god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize