Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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