why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize