I'm lost and stupid without you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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