Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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