As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
