Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
