Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
