Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
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