im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We had to coat check the pizza.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
