Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Someone shattered a urinal.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
