I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
