don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
