Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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