did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Randomize
