Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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