she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
