The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i permit you to call me
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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