Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
