I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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