I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
