Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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