Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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