you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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