whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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