so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
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Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
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They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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