you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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